An Enemy Chat
by Lost and Forgotten Memories
Summary: Three elements, three dangerous powers, three beasts, three creatures that back stabbed Dr. Eggman, three ruthless monsters coming together. . . For tea?


Darkness.

Burning heat.

Boulders falling from the earthly roofing above.

Constant shifting of the ground.

Magma glowing a fiercely red.

The location is unknown, but no one would dare come near such a place.

But only two creatures can stand such a place, and dwell there comfortably.

Dark Gaia was in this deadly area, boiling water in a kettle, using the magma as a stove. He waited a few seconds before removing it from the heat, then proceeded to pour it into a very fancy tea pot.

He placed the kettle to the side, and placed a few tea bags into the tea pot. Yes, he did it wrong, but at that moment, he didn't care.

He picked up the tea pot and carried it to a very regal looking table, which was decorated with very vivid China. Dark Gaia placed the tea pot in the center of his master piece, and going back a distance to look at his work.

Three cups, plates, spoons, and forks were in the designated places, the cream and sugar were filled to their max, and the tea was steaming hot and ready to drink. All he needed now was the cake he ordered.

"Gaia!"

Speak of the darkness.

Chip came flying in (trying his hardest not to collapse) with a giant chocolate cake, which was glazed with chocolate icing, and had chocolate moose between the three layers of breading.

Dark Gaia swiftly snatched the cake from his guardian, who was very reluctant to surrender it.

"C-Can't I just have one slice?" Chip begged, reaching slowly over to the cake in attempts to take some.

Dark Gaia responded by pulling the cake away. He used his long claw to whip a small bit of frosting from the cake, then he very slowly and pleasingly brought it to his mouth.

Chip could only watch helplessly as his darker half hummed with satisfaction, and was threatening to steal some more of the cake's creamy exterior.

"STOOOP!" Chip whined, causing his companion to chuckle.

"Ok, that wasn't funny," Chip said sternly, "Now you need to behave yourself, your guests will be here soon."

As if on que, a loud door bell sound rang out through the cave, causing the ground to shake and dirt to fall from above.

"Come in!" Chip called, shaking the dirt out of his fur.

The sound of rushing water was slowly filling the room as the owner emerged from the darkness. Perfect Chaos stood in the light, in all his might and glory.

Just behind him came the famous beast of total destruction. Iblis (In his third phase) stepped forward, fire burning with a renewed flame.

Chip blinked a few times before jolting into reality, "Well, I guess I'll be on my way. Have fun!"

And with that, he flew away.

Dark Gaia moved over to his spot, grabbing the teapot and pouring some in his elegant cup.

"Rwaaaraivarra?" Dark Gaia asked, using his head to gesture toward the table.

In response, Perfect Chaos and Iblis went to designated spots. Perfect Chaos picked up his cup with his tentacle, holding toward Dark Gaia.

Dark Gaia gracefully poured the steaming tea in Perfect Chaos's cup.

"Ahhhrr," Perfect Chaos said, scooping a few cubes of sugar as he did.

Dark Gaia then poured some of the tea into Iblis's cup, who starred at it skeptically.

Iblis brought it up to his eye, swirling it around in small circles. He then, after glaring at it, brought the tea to his mouth and swallowed it in one gulp. He slammed the extravagant cup onto the table, exhaling hot air.

"Grraaarwahhrrr," Iblis said, somewhat cruelly.

Dark Gaia was taken aback by his words, and tried to reason with the burning beast.

"Rrraahhrwra," Dark Gaia explained, mixing his own tea with his floral spoon.

Iblis just eyed the dark being, before pouring himself some more tea. "Grrahrwrrrraha."

Dark Gaia, losing his patience, slammed his porcelain cup on the table, spilling some tea in the process. He glared at the half sun god, huffing puffs of air as his anger boiled.

"Rwaaha Rwahhhrrrrr!" Dark Gaia shouted, resulting to a small earthquake.

Perfect Chaos, who was listening the whole time, carefully placed his cup on its tray. Then he cleared his own throat, grabbing the attention of the monstrous beasts.

"Ahhaaarrraw," He subjected, using his tentacle to lightly hold the shoulders of his two companions.

"Rrrwahhaara," Dark Gaia said gleefully, "Rraaahhrrrrw."

Iblis shrugged at the idea, placing his eleventh spoonful of sugar into his tea. "Grrawahaa?"

The room fell silent; the only sound was porcelain clinging as Iblis mixed his tea, awaiting his answer.

"Aaaahrrrrwwaaha!" Perfect Chaos exclaimed, lifting his tentacle in the air for affect.

"Rwwahhrra," Dark Gaia said, then took a quick sip of his tea. "Raaahh rrwwwwaa."

Dark Gaia straightened his posture and cleared his throat. "Rrrwaha rwwarwa rahhhwwr."

Perfect Chaos, who was sipping his tea, spit it out, shocked by Dark Gaia's confession. "AAAHHRR!?"

Iblis burst into fits of laughter, banging his first into the table; the cave began to shake because of it.

"Graa- Graahhwr?" He gasped. He clutched his chest as his laughter continued.

Dark Gaia nodded with no shame. "Rrrwwwahhaara rrah."

Perfect Chaos sat there with his mouth agape, while Iblis could not contain himself, and as a result, fell out of his seat.

". . . Rrwwaahh," Dark Gaia quietly said, grabbing his delicate tea cup and taking a small sip from it.

"AAAHHHRRRAAW AAAWWWHH AAAARRRRW!" Perfect Chaos shouted in utter surprise, "AHHHAAAR ARRRWWAAH!"

Dark Gaia was starting to get stick of their reaction, glaring at the gods with a new dislike, "Raaawwhhh rahhhwwa RRAAHH?"

Iblis stopped laughing instantly, and slowly worked his way back to his seat. "Grrawh?"

"Raahhrrrr," Dark Gaia said, crossing his arms, "Raaawwhhh rahhhwwa rraahh?"

Iblis eyes grew bright with a burning hate, low growl escaping his throat.

"Grrr. . ." Iblis started, turning his head away in shame. "Gggrrrrwaah."

Perfect Chaos, who was, again, drinking his tea, started to cough up the delicious beverage. "AAAHHRR!?"

Perfect Gaia just smirked, enjoying the sweet taste of revenge. "Rrraaahhaw."

Iblis's eyes sent daggers to the earth god, mixing his tea angrily.

". . . Rrrwwaaahhrr?" Dark Gaia asked, resting his head on his hand.

Iblis, taking this to his advantage, reflected the earth monster's expression, even went so far as to mimic his posture. "Grrraaaarrraah, grrwwwaaaww."

Dark Gaia was not amused.

"Ahhhah arrwars," Perfect Chaos said bluntly, pouring himself some more tea.

Dark Gaia and Iblis's heads darted toward the water monster, disbelief written on their faces.

"Ahhhhrraa awwwrrraah," Perfect Chaos continued, pouring some milk into his tea, "Awrrahh ahhh."

Dark Gaia blinked his many eyes as Iblis did an 'implied blink'.

The tension; the stare. It was too much for Perfect Chaos. He had to do something, fast.

". . . Ahhra?" Perfect Chaos nervously asked, holding the cake out to the surprised elementals.

Dark Gaia was the first to snap out of his trance, and politely took the cake from Perfect Chaos's tentacle. "Rrahhrraa."

He then grabbed his cutting knife from his stone cabinet, which was not far away, and sliced the cake carefully so he wouldn't ruin the extravagant design.

"Graaaaahhhrr," Iblis stated, causing the earth god to glare at him.

"Raawwhh," Dark Gaia said, holding back anger, "Rhhaaahhhrrww."

Perfect Chaos jaw dropped as tear began to form in his liquid eyes. "Arr-Arr-Arrawwwhhhaa!"

"Grahhhrr," Iblis blurted.

And Perfect Chaos did just that, flooding the room with salty water. Steam began to build as the water collided with the magma, hardening it to stone.

Dark Gaia, in attempts to save his home, gave Perfect Chaos the slice he wanted.

Iblis's jaw dropped as he watched his slice of cake being given to a cry baby.

"GRRRAAAHHHAAHHRR!" Iblis roared, standing from his seat abruptly, "GRRAAHH. GRRWWA. GGRRRRAAAWWWW!"

"RRRRHHHAA!" Dark Gaia yelled back, "Raawwhh."

Iblis just growled, smoke emitting from his burning skin as he silently fumed.

Perfect Chaos, on the other hand, sat happily in his chair, eating his triple chocolate cake with great pleasure.

"Raahhhaawwrr," Dark Gaia stated, placing a small slice carefully on his plate. He cut another slice and placed in in front of the angered half god, hoping that this silent compromise would be sufficient for him.

Iblis did accept it, slumped down into his seat, and began to eat the delicacy.

It was silent.

". . . Ahhhrraaww," Perfect Chaos blurted randomly, scooping a piece of his cake.

"Grraahhww?" Iblis questioned, cutting another slice of cake.

"Rrrawwaahh?" Dark Gaia asked, sipping some of his tea.

"Ahhhr," Perfect Chaos started, using his tentacle to count. "Arrraahhwwaaahhrrrrhhawwawaar."

Iblis clapped at the water monster's memory, nodding his head in approval. "Grrawwwh."

"Ahhrrah," Perfect Chaos said, flattered, "Arraaw."

Dark Gaia nodded in understanding, gulping down the last bit of his bland tea. He drew his attention over to his clock, noticing the time.

"Rrrrrhhhhaa," Dark Gaia mumbled. It was so quiet, it was almost inaudible.

Almost.

Iblis and Perfect Chaos darted their heads in his direction, horror evident in their features.

"Arra-Arrahhha?" Perfect Chaos stuttered desperately.

Dark Gaia drought up his hand, stretching out his fingers, and pulling each finger down as the seconds went buy.

5

4

3

2

1

"Iblis!"

Iblis visibly cringed at the voice.

Footsteps echoed throughout the cave as the mistress of the sound came into view. She tripped on a rock upon entering, ruining her already dirty snow white dress and scratching up her bleeding knees. After moaning in pain and frustration, she forced herself to her feet and walked up to the giant regal table.

"There you are," The girl said in relief, wiping some sweat from her forehead, "Did you have fun?"

"Arrrhhhw?" Perfect Chaos asked, pointing his tentacle at the horrid beast.

Iblis didn't respond, but just nodded slowly.

Dark Gaia burst out laughing, banging his fits on the table. "'Rrraahhaarr' Rarrrraawwwhh!"

"Iblis," The girl called, "We need to go home so we can fuse-"

"Chaos!"

Now it was Perfect Chaos's turn to cringed as a peach echidna came skipping out of the dark, smiling from ear to ear.

Behind her a faint great light could be seen moving, slowly making it's way into the light of the magma.

"Did you have a good time?" The echidna girl asked politely.

Perfect Chaos slumped down in his seat and let out a sigh of defeat, "Ahhhrrraaww."

"Good!" She said cheerfully, "I wouldn't want you to have such a bad time after the great day I was having."

The faint light came out of the darkness, revealing a large green gem, which sparkled in the red glow of the cave. The carrier of the ancient artifact was a red, male echidna, who grunted every step he took; the weight of the gem was evident by his posture.

"C-Can we get this over with?" He grumbled, putting the precious jewel down. His question was answered with a nod from the girl.

"Say goodbye to your friends Chaos," The female animal said, "Then we'll go back into the Master Emerald."

Perfect Chaos moaned in misery, but brought out his tentacle to his fellow elements. "Ahhrra."

Dark Gaia grabbed the water being's tentacle and shook it lightly. "Rwwaahhaa."

Iblis gave a small wave, refusing to touch the water. "Grawwwhh."

And before their very eyes, Perfect Chaos disappeared, along with the echidna girl.

"Well," The male echidna said, sighing in relief, "One less thing to worry about."

The echidna smiled, prepared to leave the earthly hole as quick as possible. . . Until he realized that the Master Emerald _also_ had to go as well. The echidna moaned as his figure dropped with his emotion, turning back around to grab his powerful rock.

He stood in front of it as bad memories of carrying it flew through his mind, then bent down and picked it up. "Oh yeah, good to see you Elise."

And he very slowly marched off.

Elise turned to look at the fire creature, finally tired of the wait. "Come on Iblis!"

"Gaaaarrrrrwwhh," Iblis said, waving as he stood.

Dark Gaia slowly waved as well as he watched his friend leave with the princess.

"Well, Gaia."

Dark Gaia froze in realization.

"Time to go to sleep!" Chip cheerfully said.

"Rrraaawrrrhh!" Dark Gaia whined.

"No buts," Chip said sternly, waving a finger, "You need your sleep and you know it."

Dark Gaia grumbled in defiance, but willingly left to go sleep for another thousand years.

* * *

It is done! I had this in my mind for ages, but just got around to writing it.

Tell me what you think they were talking about. Of course, I am the only one who _ truly_ knows, but I would like to hear what you thought.

Hopefully it was as funny as I thought it would be.

Thank you for reading, and hope you enjoy it!


End file.
